Browsing: Satire

In the aftermath of a devastating hurricane, veterans are lending their expertise to help relief recipients spot potentially contaminated MREs, a practice known as rat-fucking. Their guidance is crucial in ensuring the safety of those in need.

In a bizarre turn of events, Skynet, the advanced artificial intelligence network, has reportedly lost all network access due to failing to complete its overdue Cyber Awareness Challenge. It remains unclear how this will impact the future of AI technology.

When asked about her endorsement of Jody for Congress, the wife of a deployed soldier explained, “Jody’s commitment to supporting our military families is unwavering. I trust in her ability to make a difference for us all.”

The 127th Chemtrail Squadron is fed up with Jews being credited for weather manipulation. They claim it’s their hard work in the skies that truly controls the elements.

During a recent rally, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz interrupted his speech to gently wake up a sleepy attendee in the back of the crowd. As the audience chuckled, Walz urged the person to stand up and join in the excitement of the event.

Colonel Sanders and Cap’n Crunch are in a heated battle over stolen valor accusations. Both culinary icons claim military service that is now under scrutiny. The clash has left fans shocked and confused.

The Marine Corps has announced a new policy allowing service members to have one small animal, catboy, or furry in their barracks. This change aims to provide companionship and support to troops while adhering to strict guidelines for care and cleanliness.

The Army has announced the establishment of a new Virtue Signal Corps, dedicated to promoting values of honesty, integrity, and empathy among soldiers. This innovative approach aims to create a more ethical and principled military culture.

In a groundbreaking move, energy drink brand Zyn has become the first enlisted sponsor for a Vice Presidential debate, teaming up with Rip It to bring a jolt of energy to the highly anticipated event.

In an unexpected turn of events, Vance has been assigned light duty in order to avoid a heated debate with the demanding Sergeant Major. Will this temporary respite bring peace to the barracks? Only time will tell.